I stepped up to the lane, heart pulsing. It was only a warm-up before the game, but my body didn’t get the memo. The bowling ball in my hands felt like an anchor.
My husband, Jeremy, and I were on a weekly bowling league with my parents. As newlyweds, we were trying to both build our connection with them and simultaneously impress them. Jeremy was a good bowler; I tended to be a bit of a loose cannon, which felt like a liability in front of an audience I cared far too much about.
As I released the weight, letting the ball slip gracefully from my fingers, it did its job. All ten pins collapsed on cue. Too bad it was just practice. (Or so I thought.)
I turned around to face my team, expecting cheers of congratulations. Instead, I received a particularly concerned look from Mom, the kind that skips celebration and goes straight to triage. She gestured me over. In a hushed tone, she said, “Go to the women’s restroom and turn around in the mirror.” In a single motion, she urged me toward the bathroom and placed her sweatshirt in my arms.
I did as I was told, turned around, and looked into the mirror. To my horror, I’d ripped a generous-sized hole in the back of my jeans, right at the seam between the two back pockets. I’m nothing if not thorough, apparently.
If I’d gone home to change, I would’ve missed most of the three-game match. Mom’s generous offer solved more than just my embarrassment. It allowed me to stay. Bowling isn’t the place to have a wardrobe malfunction, especially one that announces itself to anyone standing behind you.
But no one pays attention to us as much as we think, even when we’re convinced the spotlight is fixed squarely on our backside.
When going bowling these days, I always bring an extra pair of jeans—or a sweatshirt. If that traumatic day taught me anything else, it’s how liberating it is to realize most people aren’t watching us at all. They’re too busy worrying about their own split seams, missed shots, and imaginary audiences.
My new book, The Gabby Effect, will officially release on Amazon on April 8, 2026!
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Great story! ... quite applicable to us all! :)